So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
