Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
