just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
