just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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