I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
