whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
