You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
