The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
