If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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