so explain again why im purple
no
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
