saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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