question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
