yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
