im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
