The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
