just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
