i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
