There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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