Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
