Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
