I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm just crazy horny about you
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
