Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
