So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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