You just made me feel so damn special
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize