He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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