dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
