it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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