Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
