we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My dad just said "fuck circus"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
