how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
