we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
