Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
