i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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