All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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