I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
