When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she looked like the before picture.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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