Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
