The maid of honor just puked.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
