So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
