I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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