all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
