Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
