Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
