she looked like the bat from fern gully.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
