ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
