I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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