she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
