At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
