Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
