Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
