Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Randomize
